Virtue lies in the middle ground?

I never knew how to be a woman of middle ground.
I never knew how to ask for bread with little butter, cakes with little sugar or light spouts.
I don’t understand indefinite sex, poorly finished relationships, sun covered with a sieve and many other concepts of underutilization.
If it’s meant to be then so be it, “with nothing or a lot” is my motto when it comes to feelings or matters of taste.
I can’t like it “more or less”, although I really want to achieve the virtuous balance.

I will then be a self-professed unbalanced person, by nature or conviction.
This brings me so many disappointments, to me and to those around me and only I know what it costs me. It’s just that as soon as I’m reaching the balance supposedly necessary to live in harmony, I don’t hesitate to pull the rug out and fall on all fours.
I sit there for a while, wondering why I have this self-inflicted mania.
Soon (or not), slowly and with bruises, I get up again, ready for the next fall or flight (depends on perspective).

When I fly I’m light, like the lovers who walk full of strength and can handle the world- Ah! “Damn good”.

When I fall, I collapse, I am stunned by the fall and myself, of course. It’s just that I have this unfortunate defect of a dog that whimpers, licking the wounds and even feeling a certain comfort in this animal and primal way.
I have hope that the future can be better, that arrogance hasn’t died in me yet.

I have to end this.
I will ask the gods of wisdom to enlighten me. May they give me the virtue of finding the middle point of life, where all things float smoothly.
Regrettably, the smooth and unflappable are not my type.

I like “flesh and blood”, tears and laughter, expressions that identify us as human beings, what it is to feel good or bad, fair and unfair, black and white.
If it is to be signed underneath, then let it be the same as on my identity card, or should we assume that we do not understand anything about who we are or what we are doing?

Devil genes.
It’s just that looking around me, this trend seems to be recessive.
I see the vast majority of people in balance, such as in a Yoga position that not even moves with the blow of  wind, they stand there motionless like a flag bearer or give in to cigarettes, drinks and pills.
Or does it corrupt us from within? It goes on adulterating our soul, heart and head to reach the blessed equitable quality, until what is simply left is what is just mechanical, automatic and devoid of life.

Virtue lies in the middle ground? Undoubtedly, but there are days that it costs too much to get there…